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Thursday, February 10, 2005
Muharram 1426, new beginning

I blog somewhere else.... http://miserymiss.blogspot.com

Posted at 07:42 am by missdiana
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Monday, January 10, 2005
Me and the Tele

It's amazing how one whole weekend spent watching the tele can make you rethink and consider about almost everything in your life.

 

Channel [V] - The story of NIRVANA

Just when I thought I am totally over this, later I realized, nothing can actually separated me from the soothing sound of music of their genre, be it they called it rock, punk or grunge. I just loved how the sound can relieve me from any pressure or tension built in my so-called life. It is obvious at this age still, other than oldies, rock really gets me, be it mellow as Pink Floyd up to heavier Metallica that I can tolerate, not beyond that, not death metal.... stuff. I remember at one point, I wanted so much to have a rock star the like of Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vedder or Chris Cornell or Stone Gossard to be my significant other. Then again, I have to accept the fact that these rock star quality type of guys doesn't really have interest in people like... hmm, me. A little pinch or reality, I am digesting the thought or that truth… slowly though, I wish my boyfriend would at least have that same interest with mine.

 

Channel 11 – Globe Trekker

This is of course driven by jealousy, I ended up watching every episodes and some of them even for God knows how many times. And each time it is seen, it was me who hosted. Why didn’t I ever go to that audition the last time? Well, the answer is only obvious that they would never choose people like… me. At least, that's what I thought. That’s a negative thinking you shall say? You’re right, I should have just go and give it a try, I guess I’m chicken out, that probably the definite excuse to that. To why haven’t I ever realizing all those dreams of mine… I should just beat the odds and get out there and just… attempt! Is it too late now? I have at least one more choice to finally grasp that dream of mine to venture into the wonderful world of journalism and mass media distribution, two months before due date… and I’m going to strive…hard! fingers crossed!

 

Channel 11 – Ice Cream and all the food show

This is for obvious reason how wonderful it made me feel to my stomach and to my conscience. Good food make good thinking, seeing all those people creating a food haven, made me evaluate myself as a woman in particular and as a person in general. Why is it the idea of cooking amused me but never allowed myself to make good use of these two hands? It’s a mystery… hehehe. You know what I wanted so much to explore now? After watching all that show? An ice-cream business, our very own Malaysian-made with the same sophistication with Haagen Daaz and as fancy as Ben & Jerry and very affordable to all kind of level of people. Do you think it can be pulled off? Yummy…

 

And lots of other shows relation to life, Discovery, Travel & Living…. Precious!

 

I quote myself, “ …I cannot believe I spend the whole weekend watching channel 11, I could die of jealousy and excitement right here in this couch…”


Posted at 08:20 am by missdiana
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Friday, January 07, 2005
.. liking to be loved..,

Is this what the 'feeling' supposed to be? I know HE is not all nice.. but you don't have to thrash him behind my back.. or at least to my hearing distance. It's getting annoying now how people can just be insensitive or overly sensitive to analyze every move those people you not fond of did. I for once, like to be informed that HE could be my one that at leaat not being despised by everyone.Maybe that's why i wanted to end up with 'celebrity' so much, the idea how they are being loved almost by all, and me being known to be the current squeeze. sigh... what if, what if..... it will never ends....

Posted at 07:19 am by missdiana
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Saturday, January 01, 2005
2005, here i come....

new yaer, new beginning?.. blerghh.. tired of that phrase... how many years can one take too actually said that? hopefully for many more to come...

Posted at 07:24 am by missdiana
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004
it has been a while

Two months... and I finally come to my senses. World has rapidly changing around me lately, people opt for 'easier' way of life, and God punishing with more and more unalarmed disaster... yet how far does He has to go before we all really woke up from this never-ending life-before-death day-dreaming? I kept asking myself what have I done to prepare myself for the definition of happiness eternity in heaven or worst ending in hell, God forbid! New year in two days, this has really triggered me into this kind of thinking. What if I die tomorrow? Not able to fulfil everybody else’s dream? My forever nightmare…. Not yet God, I beg please, I promise, I’ll be at my best behaviour for as long I can put a smile on mom’s face, as long as I can sustain a reliable sources for my fellow colleague, as long as I can keep an eye on my sisters, as long as I can be a trusted friend, as long as I can be a competitive enemy, as long as I can be loved and love someone back… I feel like crying now… There’s so many things to do yet to accomplish, time is running so fast, catastrophe is just a walk away... I’m going to take a very deep breath now and focus to what’s on top of the list… I needed all the support, appreciate it…

~ damsell in distress ~ a lost floating entity ~ egoist in the making ~ amateur snob ~
no more....

~ peace, love, empathy ... 2004

Posted at 06:50 am by missdiana
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